Incorrigible cell phone abusers and the four rules they break
Winter Fashion
Written by cjhammon in Style
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Make a purchase from our Etsy store and receive a commemorative catalog from the D. Landgreth Seed Company.
Remember the days without cell phones? People knew how to behave with a phone. No judgment needed. Those days are long gone. And I miss them. I’ve been itching to say something about phone etiquette and common sense for a long time—two ideas that seem almost quaint by today’s standards. I hope this post will come as a gentle self-awareness prompt to anyone who finds himself aptly described here.
We all make occasional mistakes. As long as we’re not habitually casting ourselves in one of these four roles, we’re probably doing okay.
The yackety yack. Her mouth is constantly busy, discussing personal and professional affairs in public places. She often says much without saying anything. The rule: Discernment is the foundation of etiquette. Only two things can come from running your mouth excessively and neither of them is good:
1) Someone around you is VERY interested in what you’re saying. If you’re discussing business or work, your competition and customers are everywhere. Imagine all the ways this could go wrong if your conversation is overheard. If you must discuss business in public, try to find the most secluded space you can.
2) No one around you is interested in what you’re saying. The fight you had with your boyfriend, your medical situation, anything financial—la, la, la, la, la. It’s called obligatory eavesdropping. We don’t know you well enough to know these things about you.
The social butterfly. He makes and takes personal and business calls while socializing with friends who are left wondering what to do. The rule: The person in front of you is always more important than the person on the phone. Could your call wait? (And how many of them couldn’t?) If you value a person enough to set a date for breakfast, lunch or dinner, give them your full attention. A good sales person never makes or takes an unrelated call in front of his customer. A lunch date with a friend is the same.
The multi-tasker. She is so busy that she must make and take calls while moving through check out lines and elevators. No time is wasted. Everyone around her is forced to listen to her conversations. The rule: People serving you deserve the courtesy of full engagement if only for a few moments. If you have to make a call to determine whether you need milk or butter, you can easily do that by stepping aside and making the call in private space. You’re also doing the business a huge disservice when you force its customers to choose between listening to you and fleeing that obligation. They might have been happy to stay and purchase something instead.
The exhibitionist. He makes calls when he is bored with present company or wants the world to know how important he is. He may even drop clues that reveal the nature and degree of his success. The rule: You can’t be successful in life without some social graces. This makes you look very small indeed.
Well, I could have been so much more expansive, but I wanted to leave some room for you. What are your biggest cell phone pet peeves or rules for etiquette? Share them here!
The first five people to make a purchase at our Etsy shop during the next two weeks will receive a copy of the D. Landgreth Seed Company’s commemorative catalog. They’ve been around since 1784. These special editions would make a lovely gift for your favorite gardener—just the thing to divert the mind from the snow and ice in our near future. It’s fun to see that gardening styles go in and out of fashion, just like clothes.
7 comments
December 1, 2011 at 8:27 am
Oh, I am ashamed to say that I committed a cell phone offense yesterday, but I think because I am typically a courteous cell phone user I felt especially bad. The yakety yak and the exhibitionist are my least favorite on your list. I would add the workaholic to the list. She’s the one who can’t seem to disconnect even when you’re at a party, on vacation, at a nice dinner, etc. A person gets two chances to display that behavior and then I’m done.
December 1, 2011 at 9:36 am
OK, this one is particular to librarians–I love when a patron comes to the desk to ask a question, and while I’m in the process of answering it, her phone rings. She TAKES THE CALL and holds up her finger to me to indicate that I should wait. Honestly, this is when I am most likely to lose my cool and let the cuss words fly.
December 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Uh Huh! I have a friend on twitter who was beside herself because she was going somewhere that didn’t have cell phone or internet service for the weekend and would not be able to be connected to her Twitter friends! Yikes! I’d rather be with a real friend any day!
December 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm
It’s hard to be perfect all the time!
December 1, 2011 at 6:42 pm
I’ve been there!
December 1, 2011 at 10:28 pm
So good, and so true, friend. Thanks for the reminders.
Something you don’t address is texting. Spending much time with the younger generation (as in my kids and their friends), I see them texting during meals with friends, during classes and concerts, and even during conversations with others. I am a firm believer in living in the moment and giving my present company my undivided attention. I find it very insulting to be trying to carry on a conversation at a table or in a car – and find that my companion is vaguely responding, and meanwhile TEXTING. Focusing on the person I’m with – and valuing his or her time and friendship and service – is relaxing and informative and KIND. Dividing myself between conversations (and people) is stressful, is not beneficial to my character or my friendships, and is rude.
The phones are useful for many things, but the silent button is very useful, and checking the phone for messages when we’re in private is the ideal. Granted, there are times we’re waiting for an important call, but those instances are rare.
A gentleman told me one time that when he was young a storekeeper shared with him this comment: “Son, your father is a great man. When I am in his presence, he makes me feel like I am the most important person in the world, and he does that with everyone he meets.” I hope I can be that way more each day. . . . I’ll have to ignore my cell phone if I do.
Thank you!!
December 2, 2011 at 10:36 am
Amen, sister! This summer I was dining in one of the oldest and finest restaurants in New Orleans, Arnaud’s. I was alone so I had plenty of time to scan the room. There was a table of 8 twenty-somethings seated together. All but one was staring into a cell phone. The table conversation was nil. How sorry I was for all of them, but most especially the one who was left to entertain herself while in the company of seven others. Had she forgotten her phone? I don’t know. To my eye, they had totally missed an exquisite fine dining experience.