What moms really expect of their grown children
Spring Fashion
Written by cjhammon in Features, Life in Yesterday's Clothes
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A few months ago I went shopping for a computer with my dad. When he pulled out his wallet to pay, he flashed a photo at me and asked if I wanted to see his girlfriend. There inside was a copy of this picture—my mom in her beehive days. Remember the beehive? Marge Simpson may be your earliest memory of the beehive, but for some of us, it goes further back than that.
In remembrance of Mothers Day, I asked my mother what she really wants her adult children to do now that we’re grown. Feel free to take Mom’s advice. It’s never steered me wrong.
A mother’s wish list
Be happy. There’s very little your mom can do about your happiness once you are grown. You are independent enough to figure that out on your own. Build strong relationships. Be faithful in marriage. Learn to be a good parent and friend. Have a spiritual life that takes care of your eternity. This is the stuff of lasting peace.
Be thankful. Appreciating what you have is the gateway to happiness. A heart that is always yearning, striving and craving is not truly grateful. When you are focused on lack and deprivation, you will be yoked with a very heavy burden. Dwell on your blessings. Learn to live resourcefully and within your means.
Stay healthy. By the time you reach the age of 18, your mom has invested a lot of time and money in keeping you physically well. Why would you want to throw all that away by eating or drinking too much, engaging in risky sexual behavior or skipping visits to the dentist or doctor? When we demonstrate that we can do those things without prodding, it takes a load off our mothers’ minds.
Know when to rest. You may think your mom has no comprehension of what prevents you from getting adequate rest. She just doesn’t understand. Think about this: yours isn’t the only generation to establish a career, raise a family, manage a budget and make its way through life. Keeping yourself refreshed is part of living a productive life. You’re the only person in the world who knows when its time to sleep and how much you need. If you don’t manage your rest, be assured of one thing: your body will eventually manage it for you.
Work me into your routine. Call. Write. Pop in for a short visit when you’re in the neighborhood. Arrive when you say you will. Mothers do not like feeling that they are bugging their children by calling too often. When you include your mom in your routine, you demonstrate that she still matters––that her usefulness to you has not expired. Guys, maybe you don’t have as much in common with your mother as you used to. That’s understandable. Do it anyway. Send her clips of things she might enjoy reading. Slip a note in the mail and tell her you are thinking about her. Call her on your way to or from work. She has spent the biggest part of her life supporting the things you are interested in. Surely you can find some common ground.
I feel blessed to have my mom and we talk on the phone as often as we can. How do you keep in touch with your mom?
Life is short. Wear the good stuff.
11 comments
May 11, 2013 at 5:51 pm
Now I know where you get your class, graciousness, insightful ness, style, and wit! My favorite part was about health… Sometimes I see young teens doing foolish dangerous stuff and I think: some mother was pregnant 9 months, went thru 12 hours of labor, spent countless sleepless nights, sacrificed and worked to keep this idiot alive and there he is riding his bicycle after dark with no lights!
May 12, 2013 at 9:10 am
I was expecting my mother for dinner. When we called and asked her about it, she said she forgot. My mother is far less complicated now. She likes it when you show up. She likes things simple. She expects you to listen and not protest too much. You can disagree but don’t push back. She’s still you’re mother. I have the summer off. I plan to spend time in her yard with her. She likes it and it helps me to be busy when I’m with her. I still find her intimidating. She is my mom.
May 12, 2013 at 11:11 pm
What a wonderful post.
I completely agree with your list. My daughter and step children are grown. My deepest wish is for them to find true happiness, love and joy in their adult years. And yes, don’t forget to stop by or give a call once in a while without prompting.
I used to slip little notes in lunches boxes. Nothing fancy. Just so they had something to look forward to at lunch time.
I would love to receive a little note once in a while. I love that suggestion.
May 12, 2013 at 11:53 pm
Wow…beauty and brains!
May 13, 2013 at 6:47 am
Barb is such a caring loving person.. I have known and loved her for over 33 years.. I always hear horror stories of mother inlaws and thanked God I had her as my second mother.. she is a very special lady and we, Scott and I love her so much.. Oh and she is a beautiful person both in side and out..
May 13, 2013 at 3:08 pm
It’s quite a compliment to have that come from you, dear. She loves you like her own!
May 13, 2013 at 3:08 pm
I’ll tell her you said that!
May 13, 2013 at 3:10 pm
I love the note in the lunchbox idea. I just love getting handwritten notes, especially now that they are rare! I hope you had a wonderful Mothers Day, Jill! Thanks for commenting–as always, so thoughtfully.
May 13, 2013 at 3:11 pm
You’re lucky to get the whole summer, LaTonya. I hope you two make some beautiful memories together!
May 13, 2013 at 3:12 pm
Ah.. that’s so kind of you to say, Anne! I’m with ya’ 100 percent on all that!
July 2, 2013 at 2:59 pm
Just saw this. So lovely.
Love her, love you, love the advice.
Thanks.