Amazingly, Cindy Crawford and I have something in common. We both wish that older women wouldn’t dress like girls, baring crepey and/or flabby flesh or wearing things that are a little on the smutty side. What do I mean by smutty? Well, at the risk of being blunt: something that dares the onlooker to imagine you without your clothes.

In most matters of age, I am an egalitarian. I hated being underestimated when I was considered a young adult. Now that I actually have some experience and (dare I say?) a little wisdom, I hate it even more. Last week, a younger colleague at work asked if I used Facebook. When I replied yes, the look on her face registered surprise. And then she murmured this–half aloud, half to herself: “Oh, well a lot of older people don’t trust the idea of using social media.” Ouch!

Here is my response to that: I do my best not to judge what people know or don’t know based on their age. Information technology is for everyone. As a former corporate communicator and librarian by recent education, I refuse to be left behind by technology. It’s not an option for me because this is my profession. People do not lose interest in their profession with age. Enough said.

Similarly, the world of fashion is not exclusively for the young. Suggestive clothing, however, is. To be honest, I never liked it even when I had the youth to support such a choice. At this point, I’ll go out on a limb and say that clothing that reveals too much isn’t just wrong for me: it’s wrong for any lady. A lady is someone who recognizes that clothes are a significant way of honoring other people—not a way to say, “Look at me and all that I possess.” I stand by that statement, no matter how prudish it seems in a world chock full of smut.

This attitudinal faux pas is too common among women who have enough money and class that they should know better—not that money has ever been a barometer of ladylike sophistication. Such transgressions are even more unforgivable when the offenders represent their cities at cultural events both here and around the world. Last weekend, I surveyed a few photos of Indianapolis’ grande dames at international events. It made me shudder just a little. I don’t want to be mean-spirited or embarrass anyone. Instead, I’ll end with a few photos of people who get it right.

Ines de la Fressange, always perfect, without plastic surgery!

Okay, I know she's had some "help" but I still think she looks great in this white dress.

Anna Wintour, editor-in-chief, of Vogue. She's had a little "help" too.