Not about me: how to sidestep a culture of narcissism
Autumn Fashion
Written by cjhammon in Life in Yesterday's Clothes, Style
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When I was a kid, I use to sit in my room and pretend I was the editor of a fashion magazine. That was all just fantasy until blogging came along and made it real for me in a way that Vogue never could have. Writing about clothes (and other things I love) is like eating peanut butter with chocolate—they go together. Despite all the delicious goodness of fashion blogging, I’ve always been uneasy about something: the potentially narcissistic nature of a style blog.
Narcissism is on the rise globally. I despise this trait and don’t want to succumb to it, much less encourage it in others. Two psychologists recently led a team of researchers at San Diego State University in a study of a nationally representative sample of 35,000 Americans. They found that six percent of Americans experienced narcissistic personality disorder at some point in their lives. (See their book, The Narcissism Epidemic.)
The rate was higher among people in their 20s—10 percent versus three percent in people over 65. Let’s chalk that up to flawed parenting and the misguided notion that a child’s self-esteem must be protected at all costs–even if it means raising a sociopath––or worse.
We probably don’t need a team of researchers to explain all this. We’ve seen it up close because narcissism is everywhere—from so-called reality shows to the things we all showcase about ourselves on Facebook and blogs. How can we be blamed? We’re just “promoting our personal brand.”
Please don’t misunderstand: I’m not against the good-natured fun, sharing and networking we do in social media. And I realize that we all have to guard and cultivate our reputations. That’s a necessity in a competitive world. But when this I’m-Brilliant-You’re-Probably-Not-Attitude becomes a common social thread, we can safely say that things have gone too far.
Narcissism is the new normal because we revel in it and reward it. You can’t help but wonder when it will become so normal that we’ll stop calling it a personality disorder.
What’s an enthusiastic fashion blogger (or social media fan) to do? To help me resist this behavioral trend, I wanted a short litmus test I could use to test my content every time I blog. In my next post, I’m sharing four questions fashion bloggers (and social media users) can ask ourselves to sidestep the narcissism epidemic.
“How many cares one loses when one decides not to be something but to be someone.” Coco Chanel said it. Which would you rather be ? What’s the difference to you?
2 comments
Janet Brown said:
December 8, 2016 at 11:03 pm
You make some excellent points in this post. I hope many read this and take it to heart.
cjhammon said:
December 10, 2016 at 1:52 pm
Thanks, Janet. I think we see eye to on on this because we’re of the same generation and ilk!